Know Your Worth

This summer I spent a lot of time reflecting on the person I have developed into as a whole. I asked myself if I thought I was kind, hardworking, compassionate, and evaluated what areas I felt I could work in. This past week, I hung out with an old friend  and she was telling me that she thought a good person is someone who is always pushing and wanting to be better, and I could not agree more. That comment rang in my head through out the week, and realized that one area I needed to work on was evaluating how I viewed my self worth.

I have always struggled with caring about how those close to me viewed me, and I always wanted to set a good example for those in my life. I am a hardcore perfectionist, and I would care so much that if I disappointed someone I would drown myself in the thoughts of me letting someone down for not meeting their standard. I would be so hard on myself about it that it would consume my every thought and I would work even harder trying to meet standards that could not be met. I am extremely blessed to have many people in my life who support me and motivate me, but I always found myself dwelling on disappointing those that I had toxic relationships with.  Even when my healthy relationships outnumbered the bad significantly. When I disappointed others I would question my self worth and who I was, when in reality the only approval I truly needed was from the man upstairs.

It took me till this summer to realize that dwelling on disappointing people who I care about deeply, but may not have my best interest in mind, was setting me further back from being the person I wanted to be. I realized that this person I was striving to be was the person I was all along. I never once was satisfied with my accomplishments, because I always measured them based on how others viewed them instead of how I viewed them. I started to realize that it is not selfish to love yourself enough to not care what other people think. It is not selfish to put yourself first and reflect on how you feel. It is not selfish to be okay with not meeting others standards. It is not selfish to nurture your soul and do what feels right to you.

Once I was able to accept that there is no possible way I can please every single person in my life, I found peace within myself and all of my relationships. I learned to love those who may suppress me, but to not let their opinions weigh me down.  I also learned the importance of slowing down and spending time with yourself. Whether it is taking a bubble bath, treating yourself to a blow out {or a new mumu}, or spending time with the Lord. Because the most important thing that you could do for yourself is to do what feels good for your soul; you will live with yourself longer than anyone else.

Xoxo, Whit

Whitney BoueyComment